James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash or dropping a single round of ammunition: The Democrats started the KKK. Now, from a purely historically accurate standpoint, this statement is actually true, I think. To be fair, I'm more...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020. It's gonna be Biden vs. Trump again. When it was all said and done, the two major parties in this country decided that we should be given the joyous choice...
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I’m So Grateful Elon Rescued Twitter from Overly Political Owners So He Can Help Trump Win!

The following editorial was written and submitted by Dustin Pewpsin, a Republican strategist working...

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...

Alabama Authorities Are Looking for Me Because They Found Out I Had a Wet Dream

"I can't tell you where I'm at, or how long I'll be here, but...

I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...

What DO You Get The Horse-Faced Cave Troll Insurrectionist In Your Life for Valentine’s Day?

"...a lovely new feedbag might be the way to go. But she just signed...

Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

"...in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had...

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views...

Tallahassee Pill Sees His Shadow and Will Have Four More Years of Not Being President

"He could still be president of his local chapter of the Proud Boys, or...

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to run a business...

I Finally Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick. The Bad News for Republicans? It Didn’t Make Me a Fascist.

Midge was so intent on making sure that every American saw Hunter's cock that...

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put by seeing men...

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Had Fucking Presidential Immunity?!

The following editorial was written and submitted by former President and alive human, Richard...

Latest articles

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...

Jesus Just Told Me He Probably Wouldn’t Vote for the “Rapey Sore Loser Guy”

Well, America, you're about to do it. Again. We're gonna have a re-do of 2020....

I’m So Grateful Elon Rescued Twitter from Overly Political Owners So He Can Help Trump Win!

The following editorial was written and submitted by Dustin Pewpsin, a Republican strategist working...

I’m a Single Issue Voter, and It’s Enabling Right-Wing Authoritarians If I Don’t Get My Way

The following piece was submitted to us by reader Gary Neophite, who describes himself...