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An Open Letter To The Homophobes In The House of Representatives - The Political Garbage Chute
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Published on July 3rd, 2013 | by James Schlarmann

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An Open Letter To The Homophobes In The House of Representatives


Dear 29 House Republicans Who Drafted a Constitutional Amendment Banning Same-Sex Marriage,

Bring it. Oh dear sweet Jesus bring it. Apparently you didn’t quite receive the message from last week’s historical Supreme Court decision — but your way of thinking is on the decline. Not only is it on the decline, but it’s shrinking more and more every day. If you ever wondered what it felt like to be George Wallace, you’re living it now. You are the ones screaming from the mountaintops “Homophobia now, homophobia forever!” Maybe the court did side-step the issue of a natural right by not addressing the 14th Amendment applications of DOMA or Prop 8, but the writing is on the wall, and you bigoted twenty-nine are going to look just as outdated, ignorant, slack-jawed and frankly evil as Wallace looks today.

The bottom line is a very simple one. The number of people who think like you do — that we should write laws that try to shame homosexuals back into the closets from whence they came — is not very high, certainly not among the younger generations who will be assuming roles in public service soon. A ton of Gen-Xers are already there. Where do you think the push is coming from? The reality is that homosexuality has been mainstreamed, not thanks to some sinister liberal plot, but thanks to the courage of millions of members of the LGBT community who risked public scorn, ridicule and in some cases imprisonment rather than live a life outside of who they really were.

What’s happened is that in the last fifteen to twenty years mainstream homophobia has been relegated to religious fundamentalism. Among religious people intolerant views of homosexuals are already starting to become far less popular. More and more people are separating religious, theocratic dogma from fact-based legislation. It’s no different than the civil rights movements that ended slavery, got women the right to vote, and finished off Jim Crow. It’s the turning on of a populace to the notion that a heretofore generally accepted sub-tier class of human is in fact no different than those on the top of the heap. The ruling elite have never had to struggle for their voice; minorities always have. You twenty-nine unevolved sycophants are completely analogous to the people who stubbornly insisted that social order and society would crumble each time we opened the tree of freedom’s branches just a little wider.

Here’s mathematical object lesson for you. 29 out of 435 voting members of the House of Representatives proposed this amendment. That’s roughly 6.6% of you and your colleagues back this proposal out of the gate. Perhaps you’d pick up some support from other misguided miscreants of the right, but do you really think you’ll get anywhere near the two-thirds majority you need in both the House and the Senate to pass this piece of shit? And if you think then you’ll get three-quarters of the states to ratify this hatred as part of our most “sacred” documents, you need to share whatever homemade meth you’re partaking of.

The simple and beautiful truth is that no matter how hard you try to stop it, you won’t be able to keep gay marriage from becoming a Federally-protected civil right. The SCOTUS decision didn’t take us there directly, but it put us in the car and fired up the GPS for us. Do you really think you can beat the acceptance, love and compassion out of people in my generation, who support gay marriage at well over 70%?

Really, I don’t mean to be so harsh. Like I’ve written in the past, I’d much rather have you bigoted wastes of taxpayer salaries out in the open. It’s easier to identify and vote the Neanderthals out if they show up to work wearing loin cloths and dragging their women by their hair behind them. Though that would explain the look on Calista Gingrich’s face half the time. I even think you’re entitled to your bigoted bullshit opinions and I will always vigorously defend your right to spout them. Hell, I’ll even go so far as to say that you’re perfectly within your rights as an American to draft this God-awful, nakedly hateful, judgmental, capricious, dogmatic, subversively theocratic pile of legislative drivel you call a Constitutional Amendment.

But you know, and I know, and everyone else knows that your amendment won’t ever get out of the primordial soup you cooked it in. Your amendment is dead before you even try to sell anyone on it, and I’m not convinced you actually care about that fact. This amendment is nothing more than a show pony. You’re going to trot it out in interviews with the press and at town hall meetings. You’ll sling the red meat at your most fundamentalist of fundie voters and that’ll be that. Your amendment never even has to come to a vote because its mere existence will be enough to keep your voters convinced you care enough about The American Family to stand up for it.

Except what happens when those voters die?

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About the Author

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a left-leaning satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.



  • http://eyehop.wordpress.com eyehop

    So they represent 6.6% and gays at least 7. Their days are clearly numbered.

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