AMA Issues Warning About ‘Republican Butt-Hurt’ Epidemic After Obamacare Ruling

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — A spokesman for the Amiercan Medical Association has issued a warning to the nation: Republican Butt-Hurt will reach epidemic levels in the wake of the Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act’s subsidies. Chief Justice John Roberts wrote in the majority opinion that the …

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Wal-Mart Agrees to Carry ‘Racist A-Hole’ Merchandise In Lieu of Confederate Flags

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BETNONVILLE, ARKANSAS — Amid a tidal wave of backlash from some of its customers, retail giant Wal-Mart has agreed to start carrying shirts that a representative for the mega-corporation told reporters at a recent press conference “will hopefully make the flag hags chill out. According to Susan McPhillips, Wal-Mart intends …

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Tacit SC Racists All Confused About New Furor Over Racist Rag

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CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA — In the wake of white-supremacist and 2014 Moe Howard Lookalike runner-up Dylann Storm Roof’s assault on Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina, an old debate has sprung up. The Confederate Battle Flag — known by historians also as “The Rag of the Loser-Ass Dicks Who …

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